Patches Place



For an overview of what is implied by the term “watersports,” see the Watersports Training Manual written by Hartley.

News Watersports in the News


Britney Spears gets caught short and pees in public on a beach!  See the story!


Lyrics Watersports in Music Lyrics


  Peter Pan never wanted to grow up (and neither does my husband Pi-Pi but that's another story).  Apparently the music group, Garbage, has mixed emotions about growing up too. Their album, “Version 2.0,” has a song named “When I Grow Up” which contains the line “Happy hours, golden showers, on a cruise to freak you out.”  For the context, see the complete lyrics.  
PIAS Magazine Ad We have not heard or read the lyrics on this Dannii Minogue single, “All I Wanna Do,” but just looking at the pic on the cover, you have to wonder what the hidden meaning is and what this pic is intended to convey?  Needless to say, we have some ideas!  And we are sure you have too!  We see a subtle hint in the pic with her finger in the fishbowl and her desperation scene in “Secrets” (UK title) or “One Crazy Night” (US title).
  The Isle of Wight festival in 1970 in the UK (like Woodstock) included a performance by Donovan.  At one point, he had a trio of infant girls helping him with a novelty song about juvenile urination which makes us wonder about one of his hit songs with the lyrics “they call me mellow yellow....”  See what you think when you watch Donovan sing The Pee Song at a live concert on the BBC Four in 1972.  
  Brian Eno has written A Year With Swollen Appendices; The Diary Of Brian Eno which was published in August 1996.  His admitted interest in watersports in his diary confirms the widely held belief that the words to one of his early songs, Here Come the Warm Jets refers to watersports.  Read the comentary following the lyrics to see what others think.  
  Pop singer, Debbie Gibson, recorded Shake Your Love and the lyrics may refer to Golden ShowersListen to the song yourself and see what you think.  
  The Funkadelic album, Standing on the Verge of Getting It On (1974), has an unlisted song at the beginning of side 2 in which George Clinton sings “Hey lady want you be my dog/And I'll be your tree/And you can pee on me./I will do you no harm, other than pee in your afro.” Two songs later in Jimmy's Got a Little Bit of Bitch in Him Clinton sings “Jimmy's got a little bit of she in he/But when he pees/He sees.”  
  Stone Temple Pilots offer an interesting cut on their Core Album with the lyrics to Wet My Bed.
  Courtney Love performs a song called 20 Yrs. in the Dakota written by Hole which has references to “Pee Girl.”
  Lyrics from the music of Jethro Tull contain a number of watersports references.  The lyrics for these songs were written by Ian Anderson.
  Hardcore rapper Tim Dog, whose specialty is dissing West Coast rap and R&B performers has the song Secret Fantasies on the Penicillin On Wax CD that includes a series of imagined sex acts involving the members of En Vogue.




Shooting Stars “Shooting Stars” is a popular cult comedy quiz show which is broadcast on Prime Time BBC TV.  The hosts are Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer and the show features various guests each week.  A special version of the show was never broadcast and only recorded for the video market.  One of the guests, Martin Clunes, is known for his role in “Men Behaving Badly,” a successful TV comedy show.  In this 568K WAV file you can hear him behaving very badly with the gorgeous Ulrika Jonsson, a TV weathergirl in England.  Ulrika says she has to wee and Martin tells her she can wee on him as a lot of laughter is heard in the background.
  Shirley MacLaine as Ouiser Boudreaux in the movie Steel Magnolias offers a colorful description of a perfect gentleman when she says, “He's a real gentleman.  I'll bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it!” (372K WAV file)
  Adam Sandler offers sound advice to all guys in the film Billy Madison when he says, “Everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest!” (24K WAV file contributed by Jay who has written a story on our Watersports Stories List but we had to remove all the stories as part of the requirements for keeping our credit card processor.)


Movies Watersports in Movies


  Before 1970, movies and television in the U.S. seldom had any dialogue where anyone admitted they had to go to the bathroom!  Times have changed!  Now women who never would have admitted they had a vagina on television, much less in public, will jump up and down with smiles on their faces like they are having an orgasm while extolling the virtues of one brand of tampax, tampon, pad, or panty liner over another brand in TV commercials!  Other women praise the benefits of incontinence undergarments like Serenity and Depends as if they never bother using a toilet anymore.  It makes you wonder why men don't do similar ads!  
  Sadly, we had to remove The Pee Movie List had grown for over 20 years at Patches' Place.  The list was interactive and allowed direct user submissions plus offers pictures of many scenes.  We hope to find a new host for this valuable resource.  


Interesting Facts


  The Pandorea Pandorana plant grows only in New South Wales and is called the “Golden Shower” plant because of the golden bell flowers which bloom each spring.  This explains why more Aussies enjoy watersports than any other national group.  (Okay, the explanation about the Aussies is not a fact but it sounded good!)
  Male goats pee on themselves, even with an erection, to attract a female goat's attention during mating!
  Male Kangaroos taste the urine of female kangaroos to find out if they are in heat!  Apparently giraffes do too!
  Male camels pee on themselves to attract the sexual interests of female camels prior to mating!

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