Watersports is a slang
term for the practice of passing bladder fluid
in order to enhance sexual intimacy, or in
other words, erotic peeing. The medical term
for this is urolagnia or urophilia. Posts
frequently appear on the alt.sex.fetish.watersports
in which this practice is a part of dominance
and submission games. This manual is not about
that. Other posts appear in which total strangers
meet and go off to some private location to
pee on each other. This manual is not about
that either. What it is about is the sharing
of something intimate and personal between
individuals who are emotionally bonded and
trust each other, and who seek to deepen their
bond and their trust with this special token
of their love. Coverage will span the mildest
to the most intimate practices.
How long has it been
since you peed in the shower or bath? I'll
bet for most of you reading, it's been less
than a month, and for most of the rest of
you, less than six months. For some it is
as regular a part of bathing as soaping the
washcloth. And why did you do it? Couldn't
hold it till you got out? Unlikely. You did
it because it felt good. It feels good just
to relax and without the worry of finding
a suitable receptacle or undoing clothing
just to close your eyes feel that little tingle
passing through your lovemaking flesh. And
there's no mess to clean. And admit this also,
at least to yourself. Sometime -- probably
more than once -- when you've been standing
waist deep in the ocean or a lake, or even
a swimming pool, haven't you enjoyed the warmth
of your own fluids seeping through your swimsuit?
Learning to amplify and share the excitement
connected such simple joys in spite of cultural
taboos against them, overcoming our baseless
beliefs in those taboos, and adopting practical
methods for engaging our lovers in this joy
-- that is what this manual is about.
Please note that I
write this from the point of view of a heterosexual
man. In what follows, I can only comment on
pleasures I've shared with my lover. I will
do my best to deliver my thoughts on the subject
with as wide an audience in mind as possible,
including those whose sexuality is different
from my own. If you feel I have misrepresented
or slighted your sexual group, or if you have
something to offer from a point of view I
am unable to write about, please let me hear
from you. In fact, anything you might care
to add I will look at seriously.
0.5 TOPICS
- Nomenclature
- Why
Do It?
- Playing
Fair
- What's
In It?
- What
About Safe Sex?
- How
Can I Touch That Stuff? (and some
unmessy activities)
- How
To Ask For It?
- What
About The Smell? (Dilution)
- What
About The Mess? (and other environmental
concerns)
- How
Do We Get Intimate?
1.
NOMENCLATURE
Throughout this manual,
I will use the word "lingam" for penis and
"yoni" for vulva or vagina. These are eastern
words that roughly mean wand of light and
sacred temple respectively. Not that "penis"
and "vulva" aren't perfectly good words. Both
come from Latin. Penis is from the same root
as pendulum and peninsula, and suggests something
that hangs. Vulva means a covering or sack
(and in my opinion has an especially sexy
sound to it). Unfortunately, the Latin words
sound clinical. It is not the fault of the
words, but the fault of western attitudes
toward the body parts -- attitudes that produce
vulgar and demeaning words like cock, prick,
pussy, and cunt (incidentally, "cunt" is also
from Latin). Because the emotions attached
to such words are negative, we assume that
a nonnegative word for a sex organ must be
devoid of emotion.
The eastern words
carry with them a sense of respect for our
bodies and remind us to look at them as sacred.
Every part of your body is exquisitely made,
and your lingam or yoni is privileged to be
your body's entry and exit point for the passing
of sexual energy. I had the good fortune once
to tour an exhibit of Bhuddist religious art.
Many of the paintings and sculptures showed
human sex organs rendered unabashedly and
in the most sensuous and glorious ways (unlike,
for example, classical Greek sculpture in
which the male organs are diminished and the
female effaced of their detail). Although
I know little about Bhuddist culture, it was
clear that these people have found that spirituality
and sexuality are sister emotions, and that
the appendages for experiencing one find employment
in the other. When we begin to think of our
flesh in this way rather than as the soiled
currency of sexual commerce, we take a step
toward spiritual sex a step beyond just plain
fucking, sucking, and jerking off.
I will often be representing
a person's urine stream as his or her spring,
or fountain. Just as rainwater that falls
on a mountain and bubbles forth from a spring
at the mountain's foot carries with it some
of the essence of the mountain, so does the
water that passes through us. That is because,
not only does it come from deep within our
bodies, it comes from every part of the body.
Urine is filtered from blood, and is a part
of our blood only a short time before it passes
from our loins. Blood flows to all points
inside us, including whatever the secret places
in which our spirits reside. Urine is what's
left after our blood has nurtured our sacred
selves. It contains the sweat of our souls.
And I don't think it was a coincidence or
a divine joke that The Creator chose to connect
our lingams and yonis with our personal fountains.
2.
WHY DO IT?
Why would you want
to come into contact with your lover's urine,
and why would your lover want to come into
contact with yours? Urine is waste, isn't
it?
If you are in love
and that love has blossomed into a sexual
relationship, then you are in love with your
lover's spirit and body. You love every part
of that person. And you hold your lover's
lingam or yoni in special awe. It is an altar
for your worship -- the bringer and receiver
of the greatest of joys you can share together.
When you close your eyes, you sometimes see
your partner's loins in your mind's eye, touch
them with your mind's fingertips, smell them
with your mind's nose, taste them with your
mind's tongue. Now if only you could get past
that time many years ago when somebody told
you, "No child -- that's dirty!"
And why do we accept
this attitude that our lingams and yonis are
dirty (and don't deny that at some level that
attitude has infiltrated you)? Part of it
is that most cultures of the world choose
to hide those parts from public view. But
that doesn't make them dirty. It only makes
them private. The other reason is that our
urine springs from there. And we must deposit
our urine away from where we eat and sleep.
Why? Because urine exposed to the microorganisms
of the environment soon emits ammonia, and
ammonia is nasty. But food left exposed turns
into nasty stuff too, and food certainly isn't
dirty.
Urine also has a peculiar
smell that we seem to instinctively shrink
from. That response is in the interest of
our survival. Our bodies balance our dissolved
minerals by eliminating excesses. We also
need to rid ourselves of a compound called
urea (urea, incidentally is in no way responsible
for the smell and has a cool, pleasant taste
to it). We instinctively know from the odor
that, no matter how thirsty we are, drinking
urine will render our elimination strategy
useless.
None of these things
make urine dirty. It is nearly sterile when
it leaves our bodies, and, barring our having
consumed something toxic, it contains no toxins.
It has, in fact, been used as disinfectant
for wounds during war time. It is most certainly
cleaner than that bacteria farms we grow in
our mouths. And as for the smell, we shall
see later on that there are simple ways to
minimize it, along with the dissolved minerals
and urea.
What I've said so
far are reasons you should not recoil as much
as perhaps you do from contact with urine.
Nothing so far has been toward why you might
like to seek it. So let's try that. First,
water is fun to play with and play in. Sex
is fun too. Why not combine them? Surely you
and you lover have splashed each other in
the bath or while swimming and enjoyed it
-- perhaps even worked yourselves into sexual
excitement doing it. Wet lovemaking is the
same thing, but with a splashing more directly
connected to your bodies.
If your lover is a
woman, your love for her yoni is not just
for its flesh, but also for the wonderful
secretions that flow from it whenever she
is aroused. Even her menstrual fluids, though
messy, are a part of her and exciting in their
own way. If your lover is a man, your love
for his lingam includes loving his semen,
and wanting it to contact you and become part
of you.
Your love for your
lover's yoni or lingam can also include a
fascination with the one function she or he
has been using it for since birth. If your
lover is a woman, picture her yoni with a
urine stream passing from it. If your lover
is a man, picture his lingam in the same way.
Don't think about touching yet. And don't
think about its destination either. Just picture
it and think of it as a fountain of love.
If you are heterosexual, you will also sense
the mystery, wondering how it feels to your
lover to issue forth the spring in this way
that is unknowable to you.
If you are a man,
you know that, although the sensation of ejaculation
and the sensation of urination are very different,
the sensation of liquid passing through your
urethra is the same for both of these, and
one reminds you of the other. If you are a
woman, you know that your urethra opens among
the most sexually sensitive tissues of your
body. When you are aroused, can you urinate
without being conscious of that?
Now consider that
the liquid that daily pours from your lover
is warm and part of him or her and pours from
that most special of places. It contains fluid
from your lover's blood and the sweat of your
lover's soul. Have you never imagined what
it would be like to feel it splashing against
your skin? And consider how satisfying emptying
your own bladder feels. You start out with
an urgent full feeling, you relax your lingam
or yoni, you feel a satisfying tickle down
there, and with no effort at all you feel
sated. Have you never imagined sharing that
simple pleasure with your lover? And what
about the joy of feeling your fountains mix
as they pass from each of you, then warm and
tickle both your skins?
Perhaps you are excited
over such thoughts, but still don't think
you would try them. It takes mental preparation
in order to enjoy such acts as much as you
might enjoy thoughts of them. Your cultural
aversion to them has been with you all your
life. It is easy to put aversions aside when
you are only thinking about the act, much
harder when you're really doing it. But if
thinking about it excites you in any way,
read on.
Aversions you might
have about sharing your lover's spring are
the last barriers between your genitals and
your lover's. When you have overcome it --
and you can -- it will wash away all the hidden
notions you might still have of your partner's
sex organs being dirty. Joining in embrace
and flowing in each other's arms will seem
as natural and enjoyable a way of sharing
your sexuality as anything you may be doing
now. And it will be something special between
you that few others experience.
One final note. Many
of us at some time in our lives will find
ourselves having to forgive a lover for wandering
into the arms of another. These things happen.
Since the sharing of genital fountains (or
any other specialized sex practice) is something
that requires an intimacy and trust developed
over time, it is unlikely that your lover
will ever betray that part of your relationship
to any interloper. Your sexual relationship
will still hold something secret and unsullied
upon which you can begin the healing.
3.
PLAYING FAIR
Everything I have
to say in this section is summarized by the
three words: respect your lover. Your lover
wants to please you. You ought never put your
lover in a situation where he or she must
choose between pleasing you and avoiding something
he or she finds disturbing. Any sex practice
against which taboos exist is likely to be
more difficult for one partner to accept than
the other. Go slow. Allow your partner to
become comfortable with easy things first.
Move on step by step. If your lover balks
at something, accept it and don't apply pressure.
The situation may turn in your favor by itself
someday. And even if it doesn't, you will
still have the one thing that is most important.
Don't ever surprise
your lover by doing something new you haven't
talked about first. Trust means your lover
knowing what to expect from you.
Some of the activities
discussed later on involve both preparation
and clean up (in particular laundry). Share
these tasks with your lover, or even offer
to do all of them. For example, if you don't
have your own laundry machine, your partner
might feel embarrassed bringing the laundry
resulting from your frolicking into a public
laundromats. Offer to perform the job yourself.
And this next rule
is especially important. Unless both of you
explicitly agree that telling is okay and
unless you both want the world to know about
your sexual tastes, don't reveal to anybody
-- not friends, not relatives, nobody -- what
you've been up to. Remember, erotic peeing
is not going to be on your lover's clergyman's
list of sanctioned sex acts any time soon.
Promise your lover not to tell. And don't
feel shy about asking your lover to promise
the same. Nothing builds trust between lovers
better than a shared secret. Nothing kills
trust faster than a breach of confidence.
Keep your secrets secret.
And say, "I love you,"
often.
4.
WHAT'S IN IT?
Urine is mostly water.
Besides that, it contains the following:
Soluble minerals in
excess of your body's needs, mostly salt,
but with some magnesium, calcium, potassium,
and phosphate.
Nitrogenous material,
primarily urea. Also present is a more complex
compound called creatinine, which I believe
is responsible for the color and odor. These
substances are nontoxic. There is also a small
amount of uric acid and an even smaller amount
of ammonia. Neither of these is present in
enough concentration to do any harm.
Water-soluble stuff
your body needs but is unable to retain. This
includes water-soluble vitamins like C and
B-complex. If you take large amounts of vitamin
supplements, you increase the concentration
of these in your urine.
Food components that,
though nontoxic, are of no use. These include
various natural and artificial flavoring and
coloring agents. At least some of the aspartame
(Nutrisweet) you consume is passed (the resulting
sweetness can be a turn-on for some folks).
You may also have noticed that if you eat
beets, the red coloring is passed. If you
consume a large amount of grapefruit, your
urine will smell like grapefruit. There is
a nontoxic artificial dye called methylene
blue that is passed unchanged, for those who
like to pee in color. There are plenty more
examples.
Degradation products
of food compounds. These are also nontoxic.
The best known example is what happens when
you eat asparagus. Your liver converts sulphur
compounds in the asparagus to methylthiol,
(a water-soluble gas) which is passed. Methylthiol
is not toxic in the quantities present in
urine (that quantity being very small), but
it is one of the smelliest compounds known.
The human nose can detect it in concentrations
of much less than one part per million in
air.
Toxins that you consumed,
or their degradation products. The best example
of one of these is alcohol. Alcohol is so
water-soluble that your body is powerless
to prevent it (or its degradation product,
a compound called acetaldehyde) from diffusing
through all your tissues. It will be present
in your urine in the same concentration it
is in your blood. Caffeine and some recreational
drugs are other things that may be present
in your urine if you consume them first.
Small quantities of
blood protein.
Sluffed off cells
and mucous from your bladder and urethra linings.
In males, bits of
semen, especially after sexual activity.
Trace quantities of
hormones, including sex hormones.
Urine should not contain
sugar (glucose) in any but minute amounts.
If someone's urine is discernibly sweet, barring
his or her having consumed an artificial sweetener,
that person ought to see a doctor. Diabetes
is no joke (and the doctor is the one person
that you CAN tell that you or your lover discovered
sugar in the urine by taste. Doctors have
heard it all, and they don't tell).
Urine should not contain
blood or puss. Again, if it does, see a doctor.
5.
WHAT ABOUT SAFE SEX?
A word here about
safe sex is in order. Many of the activities
described later on involve, in the parlance
of health officials, "exchange of bodily fluids."
If one of the partners is infected with a
sexually transmitted disease, the other risks
infection as a result. None of the activities
are any more risky than unprotected straight
lovemaking. Still, that means that you should
consider these activities only within the
confines of a mutually monogamous relationship
in which both partners are certain of the
health of the other.
One other important
item. Don't go inserting foreign objects or
body parts into anybody's urinary system.
The risk of infection and injury is just too
great. Consider this particular orifice to
be a one way street.
6.
HOW CAN I TOUCH THAT STUFF? (and some unmessy
activities)
I mentioned before
that our bias against drinking urine has a
biological basis. But our bias against touching
it is purely cultural. There are plenty of
cultures in which touching of urine is part
of some practical or cosmetic activity. There
are peoples, for example, in equatorial Africa
who use urine together with clay and ashes
to form a paste they apply to their skins
that prevents insects from biting. Before
certain arctic cultures were exposed to European
ways, many used urine for personal washing,
especially in the winter when it is too cold
to bare your genitals outdoors and when liquid
water is precious. Even in the U.S., during
the Civil War, Confederate women collected
their urine and processed it into potassium
nitrate for the war effort. I'm sure that
after a few initial wrinkling of noses, this
activity became routine to these women, and
ceased to disgust them.
The strangest urine
use I've heard of was practiced in pre-Christian
northern Europe, where elder males consumed
a drink made from the mushroom, Amanita muscara.
This particular mushroom contains a psychoactive
drug which is passed, unaltered, in the urine.
More junior members of the group gathered
and drank the urine of those who consumed
the original drink, and got high also. To
anybody thinking trying this themselves, I
most strongly caution against it. Besides
the questionable wisdom of consuming psychoactive
drugs, there is the fact that Amanita muscara
is toxic and causes damage to your system.
There is also the danger of misidentifying
the mushroom. Some species of Amanita will
put you in the morgue.
So you still feel
a little strange about touching pee?
Next time you're alone
in the shower, go ahead and pee, but hold
your hand in the stream. Revel in how warm
and touchable it really is. Feel the gentle
insistence of the stream splashing against
your skin. And remember, everything in urine
is water-soluble and washes completely away
as soon as the shower water flows over it.
If the smell bothers you, try having a big
drink about an hour before you shower, or
shower at the time of day that your urine
is normally most dilute (we'll talk extensively
about dilution later on).
Now ask your lover
to pee in the shower. Your lover will probably
agree to this easily, since it is so harmless.
Hold your hand in your lover's stream. Revel
your lover's warmth. Tell your lover how good
it feels. Showering together is fun. Do it
often. Touch your lover's wet body and encourage
your lover to do the same to you. And do a
lot of kissing and cuddling of lingam and
yoni. Get used to what they are like when
they are wet. Use cool water whenever weather
permits so that your lover's spring will feel
even warmer by contrast.
When you are comfortable
doing those things, try the same exercises
but with the shower turned off. As soon as
you're done, turn the water on and wash off.
As you become less inhibited, try holding
your hand right against your or your lovers
lingam or yoni as the stream flows. Smear
it over the genital area. Direct it down the
thighs.
When you and your
lover are comfortable touching each other's
streams, try lying down in the shower or bath
between your lover's legs and let your lover
pee on your tummy or on your lingam or yoni.
Some folks experience a nearly instantaneous
orgasm the first time they feel their lovers'
stream on their genitals. If this happens
to you, you won't have to ask you lover to
change places. He or she will likely volunteer.
Here's another fun
exercise. Next time you're at the beach with
your lover, stand waistdeep in the water,
embrace, and then both of you let flow. The
warmth feels good in the cool water, doesn't
it? And there is the added excitement of strangers
being present but their not knowing what's
going on.
Another wonderful
situation is the next time you and your lover
are caught together outdoors in a rainstorm,
either intentionally or otherwise. As long
as lightning is not a danger, this is a romantic
and titillating situation. You will probably
hug and cuddle a lot just for warmth. Since
your clothing is likely to be so wet that
there is no danger of forming an embarrassing
stain in the crotch, feel free to pee in your
clothing as the spirit moves you. Try it while
you are embracing, or place your lovers hand
on your crotch as you do. If privacy permits,
try placing your lovers hand inside your clothing
as you do. Ask your lover to do the same for
you. Although a man usually has a hard time
maintaining a stream while his lingam is being
erotically stroked, women do not suffer the
same syndrome. Ask her to pee while you stroke
her yoni the way she likes it during normal
lovemaking.
And, in your ordinary
home life, take turns watching each other
pee. Be creative in the positions you choose
to pee in. Both men and women can still hit
the pot in unorthodox positions. If you are
in the woods, accompany each other when nature
calls. Don't hide it from your lover, make
a show of it. Watching a woman pee is an especially
strong turn on for many men (a tidbit of knowledge
of which prostitutes have always been aware
-- they are known to pee publicly to catch
the eye of potential customers).
Even if you never
go beyond the activities in this section,
they're still exciting and can be a prelude
to passionate sex.
7.
HOW DO I ASK FOR IT?
At this point, you
may think you could be completely uninhibited
with the thought of peeing with your lover,
but you don't think you could ever persuade
your lover to participate. How do you broach
the topic?
I can only tell you
what worked for me. Pick an intimate but relaxed
moment. Begin the conversation by talking
about how much you enjoy touching your lover.
Tell your lover about the parts of his or
her body you find beautiful and delicious
to touch. Do a little touching. Encourage
talk about fantasies and dreams. Try to get
your lover to reveal one of his or her own
secret fantasies. Whatever your lover's fantasy
might be, try to find something exciting in
it. If you genuinely find it exciting, let
your lover know.
Explain to your lover
how much you love his or her lingam or yoni,
how sometimes you focus on it and can't think
of anything else. This moment would be a good
time to kiss it or lick it or suck it or all
of the above. Tell your lover that you love
everything about his or her lingam or yoni
-- that everything it does excites you. Even
the water that pours from it excites you.
It excites you because of the person it comes
from. Suggest that perhaps someday you'd like
to get closer to it -- to touch it or maybe
even taste it. And phrase it that way -- perhaps
someday. You don't want to be applying pressure.
If there's hesitancy, give oral sex again.
Tell your lover how much you enjoy giving
oral sex. Say that you enjoy it primarily
because of who is receiving it. Tell your
lover that you enjoy it with him or her so
much you would do it even while the spring
was flowing. Whenever your lover indicates
verbally or by body language that he or she
is uncomfortable with what you're suggesting,
issue a complement that is off the subject.
Hug and kiss and nibble ears. Do whatever
it takes to make your lover comfortable again.
Comforting speaks volumes louder than begging.
If you do all these
things and have made no apparent progress,
put it aside for a few weeks or months, then
try the same thing again. You may have made
more progress than you thought. Your lover
may just need time to get used to the idea.
Allow as much time as it takes.
8.
WHAT ABOUT THE SMELL? (DILUTION)
You can control the
degree to which your urine smells by controlling
its concentration. Dilute urine smells less
than concentrated urine. Very dilute urine
has virtually no smell (or taste) at all.
If you have a lot of minerals in your tap
water and your partner has been drinking something
with a good mineral balance, like fruit juice,
you may even find that dilute urine has a
pleasanter taste than your tap water.
One strategy for more
appealing pee is to consume less of what makes
it smell. Unless you are starving, you probably
eat far more protein than you need. The excess
is metabolized (burned for energy). The odor
and color of urine comes from the byproducts
of protein metabolism. If you cut down on
foods with high concentrations of protein,
you reduce the odor. Such foods are meat,
fish, dairy, and eggs. Even some vegetables
have high protein concentrations -- peas,
beans, lentils, and peanuts. For some, cutting
down on these foods is not an attractive option.
If that is the case with you, then concentrate
on dilution.
Of course the strategy
to dilute your urine is to drink a lot of
fluids (you already knew that, didn't you).
Healthy kidneys are very efficient, and can
filter off excess water as fast as your digestive
system can absorb it. Passing excess water
through your system also has a cleansing feeling
about it.
Some more tips: You
may have noticed that at some times of the
day your kidneys shed more water than at others.
Consider timing your drinking and lovemaking
with your daily rhythms. Avoid strenuous activity
or spending time in the hot sun (i.e. avoid
sweating) in the hours before your lovemaking.
Also avoid salt in those hours. And don't
eat asparagus.
Of course there is
the question of what to drink. Water is good
but gets boring. Here are some thoughts on
other beverages. Fruit juice tastes great
and you can drink large amounts without any
negative side effects at all. If you are planning
an afternoon of lovemaking, you might consider
buying several bags of citrus fruit and have
a juicing and drinking party with your lover
ahead of time. Sports drinks like Gatoraid
are good too. I have a special fondness for
frozen fruit bars, especially Popsicles. Each
one is good for four to six ounces of water.
But avoid vegetable juices like tomato juice
or V8. They have too much salt. Soups also
have a lot of salt. Diet soda is a good drink
for the purpose, but some of them contain
caffeine (and remember that the sweetener
will sweeten your urine). I advise against
a syrupy drink like Coca-Cola. In the quantities
you need to drink it, it's too big a sugar
hit. The sugar will make you retain some of
the water, besides making you sleepy and sluggish.
On the question of
caffeine, it is a mild diuretic and to some
it is also a mild aphrodisiac. Too much will
make you jittery, though, especially if you're
not used to it. If you are a coffee drinker,
think about how many cups of coffee you can
normally tolerate before the caffeine makes
you uncomfortable. Don't exceed that amount.
For reference, three cans of Diet Pepsi contain
about the same amount of caffeine as one cup
of coffee. Diet Pepsi is typical of caffinated
sodas. If you drink coffee to dilute your
urine, switch to decaf after a few cups.
Then there is the
question of alcohol. If you are going to consume
an alcoholic beverage to dilute your urine,
beer is best because it is already dilute.
A small amount of alcohol can be useful for
dissolving inhibitions over what you plan
to do. But large amounts of alcohol detract
from the sexual pleasure and ability. After
several beers, you might want to switch to
a soft drink. If you love beer, you might
consider a nonalcoholic brew for filling up
on.
And how much fluid
should you drink? I like to drink a lot and
have my lover do the same. During lovemaking,
I don't want to worry about fluid economy.
I want to feel free to let it out whenever
fancy strikes me, knowing that more is soon
to come. If you consume three liters (about
96 ounces), you will begin to feel the urge
in about 45 minutes, and thereafter every
15 to 20 minutes for several hours. That,
of course, is a lot to drink all at once.
So instead, drink a 12 ounce can every 5 or
10 minutes. And once things begin to flow,
you can continue drinking during your lovemaking
hours to prolong the fun.
If you drink this
much fluid, your urine will smell and taste
like water, though it will retain some of
the flavor of whatever you are drinking. If
your lover's urine is this dilute and you
choose to drink it, it can do no harm.
If you want to try
something really exotic, have you or your
partner drink a little cologne (don't drink
oil based perfumes, though) and see what that
does to your urine. Since the cologne manufacturers
know that there are alcoholics who are most
certainly going to drink this stuff, colognes
are made to be nontoxic (but do check the
label first for any warnings). Keep in mind
that colognes contain alcohol, and that they
are more expensive than your average drink.
One final note. Don't
use any strong diuretic drugs as part of your
sex play. They can make you feel dried out
and uncomfortable.
9.
WHAT ABOUT THE MESS? (and other environmental
concerns)
Now that you know
how harmless your body's fountain is, the
only thing left to say against wet loving
is that when it's over, it's not really over.
You're still left with a mess to clean up.
The easiest response
to this is simply to restrict yourself to
activities that don't leave a mess. These
would include things you do in the shower
or bath, in the privacy of your own swimming
pool deck, or when you find yourselves on
a deserted beach or lakeshore. In these situations,
you can get naked, have a fun time, wash off,
get dressed, and let nature or household plumbing
dispose of what you've produced.
Of course, bathrooms
are not the most comfortable places for lovemaking,
and beach sand can turn erotic caresses into
agony. The best place for lovemaking is still
a bed. But if between the two of you, your
lovemaking is going to leave six liters of
liquid in your mattress, you're likely to
think twice before turning on the tap in bed.
With a little preparation,
though, you can have your fun and still sleep
in a dry bed. Go to the discount store and
buy several plastic shower curtains. Strip
your bed, and lay the shower curtains over
the mattress. If you have a king sized mattress,
you might consider two layers of shower curtains
with the seams displaced from each other.
Be sure to lap any seams. Now get some old
towels or bath mats. Put these down in the
places on the mattress where you think you
or your lover's weight will be most often.
They will prevent puddling. Now make the bed
over top of the whole affair, but leave off
the top sheet and the blanket. Take the pillows
out of the pillow cases and slip them into
plastic garbage bags. Then put the pillow
cases on over that.
And be sure to have
another set of dry sheets and pillow cases
handy for when you are done. Also, keep a
few plastic garbage bags handy for toting
wet laundry in later on.
Now your are ready
to be as wet as you like and still be able
to dry your bed out quickly and easily.
There is one more
thing you must consider before starting your
wet love in bed. That is temperature and humidity.
It's no fun to be cold. In the bath or the
shower, you can control the temperature of
the water to stay comfortable. In bed, you
will have no covers, and you are likely to
be wet. If you live in a cold climate, you
will either have to restrict this fun to summertime,
or you will have to burn some extra heating
oil. You will want the air temperature to
be at least 80 degrees Fahrenheit (27 degrees
C). Consider buying an electric space heater
if you don't want to heat the whole house
this warm. If it is cold outside, you will
also want to use a humidifier or vaporizer
to moisten the air (otherwise you will be
the ones moistening the air, with the attendant
loss of body heat).
Also, if it is TOO
hot and humid in your bedroom, it can take
away from your pleasure as well. Your lover's
warm stream will just seem hot. A ceiling
fan over the bed can be most helpful here
-- also, a basin of cool water that you can
splash each other with from time to time to
cool off. Of course the best thing is an air
conditioner. But keep it on low, lest you
make yourselves too cold.
If you use any electrical
aids (vibrators and the like), make sure they
are intended for sexplay. They are likely
to get just as wet as everything else. Genuine
sex appliances are designed to deal with being
wet. Use battery powered equipment exclusively
-- never any that get its juice from the wall.
10.
HOW DO WE GET INTIMATE?
So you skipped right
to this section, didn't you? It's okay, as
long as you read the rest sometime. So you
want to know what fun things you can do using
your lingams and yonis as water toys. Well,
in the section, HOW CAN I TOUCH THAT STUFF?
(and some unmessy activities), we've already
discussed a few things you can do in the bath,
shower, or in a private spot outdoors. Here
are some activities you can do in bed as well.
All of them work best if your kidneys have
plenty to work with, so drink up first. Note
also that males may have to ejaculate once
before their sexual tension relaxes enough
for their streams flow freely.
Playing Doctor
Simply sit with facing
each other with legs apart. When either of
you gets the urge, simply pee. The other gets
to watch and touch. Pretending to be children
again adds a fun twist to this game.
Wet Massage
You will need some
KY jelly or equivalent for this. Have your
lover lie face down (or face up if you want
to massage the front) on the bed. Kneel straddling
your lover over the small of the back. Smear
a little KY jelly on your hands. Now pee onto
your lover's back and begin rubbing it in.
Add more KY jelly as needed to keep everything
slippery (you may not need that much since
your pee is naturally slipperier than water).
Be mobile. Work your stream up and down your
lover's back and neck, and over your lover's
buns. Use your lover's favorite massage techniques.
This works best when you learn to control
your stream, that is to be able to shut it
off at will. Then you can pee a little and
rub a lot, then pee some more and rub some
more. This activity, like most of the rest,
is fun whether you are the giver or the receiver.
Wet Cuddles
Just wetting the bed
is exciting the first time you do it on purpose.
Doing it while you and your lover are cuddling
is a special delight. Unlike some sex acts,
naked cuddling is something you can keep up
for a long time and be relaxed the whole time.
Spoon-style cuddling, with the man behind,
is best suited for enjoying wetness. Just
lie there together, and whenever one or both
of you feels the urge, let it flow. Your lingam
and yoni are positioned perfectly to feel
the gentle touch that the other's fountain
brings you. For the more adventurous, try
lying on your sides, facing each other sixty-nine
style. Each of you cuddles and nuzzles the
other's genitals. Again, whenever your bladder
sends you the signal, relax and respond to
it. Whenever your lover's stream splashes
on your face, enjoy it and nuzzle even more.
Golden Shower
This is simply where
one partner kneels, sit, or lies down and
the other pees all over him or her. Again,
either position is enjoyable. If you like
dominance and submission fantasies, this activity
plays into them nicely. It's also fun to kiss
your lover's lingam or yoni on the spot where
the cascade emerges.
A Pissing Contest
Just for laughs (and
why should love be unfunny?), try competing
with your lover for distance, height, or accuracy.
And men, be ready for defeat. Once women figure
out some simple techniques, you will find
they hold the advantage of having simpler
plumbing.
Baby Gets Clean
This is best done
in the bathtub. One of you takes the role
of parent, the other the role of baby. Parent
scrubs baby with soap using his or her own
fluids for water. If the baby is completely
uninhibited and the parent has enough fluid,
the parent washes the baby all over, including
head and face (watch out for soap in the eyes).
When the scrubbing is done, use the shower
to rinse off.
Cataracts of the Nile
(for her)
The woman lies on
her back with legs apart. The man stands or
kneels between her thighs. The man pees as
hard as he can, directing his stream onto
the woman's clitoris. The man must concentrate
on not becoming erect so that his stream is
as stimulating to her as he can make it. The
woman simply enjoys, touching her yoni if
she likes. You will probably want to experiment
with standing or kneeling, as different women
will have different preferences over how high
the stream should come from.
Log in the Amazon (for
him)
This time the man
lies on his back. The woman squats over his
lingam. She may want to stimulate him manually
before beginning the main event. When he is
wonderfully aroused and erect, she pees hard
onto his lingam, moving her stream up and
down the length of his shaft. The woman should
not worry about whether or not she makes him
ejaculate this way. Either way, he is certain
to enjoy it. A note here: Many find that as
the recipient in either of the last two activities,
the intensity is greater if they have first
shaved their pubic hair. I know that many
men have a Samson complex about their pubic
hair, but consider it anyway. The skin over
your pubic bone is deliciously sensitive,
and you will only feel the wonderment directly
if you are shaven. As an aside, if you both
shave, face to face intercourse has additional
sensations that you cannot achieve otherwise.
And if you find you don't like it shaved,
it grows right back.
The Fountain of Venus
(for her)
There are several
positional variations of this one. I'll describe
the easiest and you can take it from there.
The woman waits until her bladder reaches
the limits of comfort. She then lies on her
back with her legs apart. Her partner kneels
or lies between her thighs facing her yoni.
He then begins licking her yoni in the usual
way, paying close attention to the sensitive
area just below her clitoris. The woman should
hold back her stream until Eve's rapture engulfs
her. At that point, many women have no choice
and will let go involuntarily. Her partner
should keep licking, enjoying the sound of
her sighs and the sensation of her yoni gushing
onto his tongue, and perhaps drinking some
if he feels so inclined. The woman should
keep peeing until she is empty, allowing herself
to come whenever she feels moved to do so.
Some women claim this is the most intense
orgasm they have ever had. This is so stimulating
for them that in the one or two days that
follow, some women will come every time they
pee because it is a reminder of this experience.
Men -- you mustn't deny your woman the joy
of this act.
Watering the Oak Tree
(for him)
The woman waits for
her bladder to become full. The couple prepares
for intercourse in whatever ways suit them.
The man lies on his back and the woman squats
over him. She inserts his lingam into her
yoni, but does not begin pumping. Instead,
she adjusts herself so that she is comfortable.
Then she pees. This takes some practice because
the man's lingam is applying pressure to the
woman's urethra. The woman will have to concentrate
and will have to adjust herself so that the
pressure on her urethra is minimized. Even
so, she will likely have to work hard to get
a good stream. It may also mean that she does
not take her man's lingam all the way to the
hilt. But it probably doesn't matter for the
man. As soon as her stream starts in ernest,
he is likely to ejaculate immediately.
Flooding the Cave
The man's bladder
must be full and he must have ejaculated recently
for this to work. The man may not be able
to maintain a full erection during this act.
For that reason, rear entry (both couples
lying on their sides, spoon-style) is recommended.
This is the easiest position in which to keep
lingam inside yoni when lingam is soft. Some
KY jelly helps for inserting a less than erect
lingam. Once in, he pees inside her. This
is not easy and takes some concentration on
the man's part. It does get easier with practice.
But nature resists the man washing his own
semen out of his woman's yoni. The first few
times a man tries this, he is likely to find
the drain to his bladder clamped shut. Nature
seeks pregnancy, and this is not a means to
that end. If this happens, just relax and
wait. Eventually, your bladder will be so
full that it will win out. The woman's yoni
may make a something of a seal around the
man's lingam. This will cause her yoni to
inflate. When it is inflated enough, the seal
will begin to leak or even gush out in sudden
squirts that are enjoyable to both partners.
If she becomes uncomfortable before that,
simply insert a finger, and the liquid will
escape. The sensation is delightful for both
partners. For the woman, she feels activity
inside her, and the sensation that her man's
lingam is bigger than it really is. For the
man, who may be an hour or so before he can
next ejaculate, this is a surrogate ejaculation
-- he feels the wonderful sensation of flowing
into his woman. And it lasts a lot longer
than an ejaculation.
The Spitting Snake
This is the complement
to the Fountain of Venus. The man waits until
his bladder is full. Then he rubs his lingam
over his partner's face. When the partner
is ready, she opens her mouth, perhaps taking
the man's lingam into her mouth. He pees as
he urge dictates. She kisses the head of his
lingam and enjoys the sensation of the stream
over her lips and tongue.
Fantasies
Make up some fantasies
about what you are doing. My favorite is that
I am a king threatened with assassination.
I am so fearful of being poisoned that I will
drink nothing that hasn't been filtered through
my servant girl first. Of course, its most
fun to drink right from the tap. But I can't
hope to make up fantasies for you that will
be better than your own. Use your imagination.
Self Peeing
This is the watersport
equivalent to masturbation. You may want to
do it simply because you are away from your
partner and you miss the sensation of your
partner's stream on your face. Or you may
do it with your partner present for his or
her entertainment. The main concern is to
make gravity work in your favor. This means
getting upside down. Lying back on your shoulders
and propping your legs and back against a
wall is the best way to accomplish this. If
your partner is present, he or she can provide
support for your legs instead of a wall. Being
limber helps. With a little effort, you can
get your genitals directly above your face.
If your back and hamstrings are limber, you
can also remain on your feet and bend down
until your head is between you legs. Men are
at an advantage over women on this one as
they have more freedom to aim. If a man's
partner is present for either variation of
this, allow her the fun of aiming the stream
for you.
Doing it with your Clothes
On
There are a number
of folks who like to wet themselves with clothes
on. Swimsuits are most convenient for this
since they are made to be worn wet and to
easily pass water through their fabric. It's
fun to sit on a public beach with your partner,
drink beer, and pee it out onto the sand with
nobody wise to what's going on except you.
But you can wet ordinary clothes, and they
will also survive and look good as new with
a single trip through the laundry. Try kneeling
before your standing partner, who is clothed.
Press your face to your partner's crotch and
have him or her wet the fabric.
A special turn on
for many a man is to have his woman dress,
with or without panties, in a skirt or a dress,
and then pee standing up without lifting the
hem. A woman so dressed can sit on her man's
lap while he is clothed, open the valve between
her legs, and drive him wild as her liquid
love soaks through his trousers. Those crotchless
panties that Fredrick's of Hollywood sells
are good for this as well. A man might be
joyously surprised to arrive home, be asked
(or commanded) at the door by his woman to
kneel down, stick his head under her dress
and begin licking, only to have his thirst
slaked with her cascading waters. Some folks
also enjoy wearing those bladder control undergarments
(i.e. adult diapers) and wetting them. It
has the advantage that you can wet them in
a public place. You can also improvise a diaper
out of a towel.
And There's Plenty More
Whatever variations
on wet fun you can think of are probably okay
as long as they feel good for both partners
and cause no injury. I leave you with the
same thoughts I began with. Whatever you do,
remember, sexual pleasure flows not between
genitals but between hearts. God gave us flesh
that is capable of great joy. So stay safe,
play fair, and for God's sake, have fun.